See Through, or not See Through? That is the Question.

Now that Memorial Day is over, fashionistas everywhere east of the Mississippi herald the short window to wear white until Labor Day. No, I am not talking about the KKK convention but white shoes, pants, shirts, or all of the above. Unfortunately, the biggest trap of wearing white in the summer is the see-through factor, especially magnified by the blazing sun. For most, and by that I mean women, see-through clothing whether accidental, incidental, or intentional, is less of a fashion faux pas than a male counterpart commiting the same crime.

However, if you are blessed with a penis and you must wear white pants that are see through against your own best judgement and the advice of your gal pal, here are a few tips:

1. Don't wear picket fence white, it's too harsh. Look for off-white or linen pants.
2. If you don't/can't try on the pants, then do the hand test. Place your hand under the fabric as it is meant to be worn (i.e. if it's lined then put it under both layers). If you can see the outlines of your fingers through the fabric of the pants (especialy at the seat), it's see through.
3. If you try it on and you can see the pockets through the pants, it's see through.
4. Should you still buy the pants after it fails steps 2 and 3, make sure to pair it with a shirt that is long enough to cover your bum. And most importantly, DO NOT tuck in the shirt! Tucking in is a dead giveaway, think step 3.
5. It also doesn't hurt to wear nude color underwear (that does not mean commando).

If after following steps 1-5 and you still solicit giggles from ladies or outright ridicule from your buddies who know better, you have no one to blame but yourself. Just because you think you look like Derek Zoolander and have perfected Magnum, that doesn't mean you can wear see through pants with your red Transformer underwear.