Petting Zoo

The field next to our work parking lot is slowing becoming a petting zoo. This morning, a small flock of sheep were brought in. An hour later, Babe's big fat uncle, Mr. Pig was added to the same pen.

Aside from the excitement taking place adjacent to the asphalt lot where we park our cars, only a sprinkling of employees are actually in the office. A few hours later, my cube mate proclaims the building is to be closed at 11am according to the intranet bulletin. I glance at the time at the corner of my screen, it reads 11:30am. When is someone, ahem management, actually going to inform us of the news? Minutes later an announcement is made on the same bulletin that hourly employees that are in the office were to be paid a time and a half their regular pay for coming in. Where does that leave the salary slaves? To add insult to injury, we were barely informed of the free pizza brought in for lunch due to the cafeteria closure.

So today after checking the emergency hotline and trying to decipher the cryptic HR double talk of:

(Paraphrased) In light of our current conditions in the San Diego area, both buildings are to remain closed. Because the buildings are closed as it was on Monday, all non exempt employees who volunteer to come in will receive a time and a half pay. All other employees will be paid regular pay and no TOP days will be subtracted. Our building will remain open for volunteer employees. The air quality remains good in both buildings. Please check at noon today for the next update.

I've decided to "work from home," possibly head in the afternoon to check email, say hi to Mr. Pig and his sheeps (peeps).

Refugee

I am officially a refugee because of the San Diego Fires. I just evacuated my humble abode an hour ago and am now continuing my vigilance in front of the TV with the local news. As a child I hated natural disasters that made national news because it interrupted my regularly scheduled programs, specifically, cartoons. Growing up with no cable, these times of trial were extremely painful. Now, as an adult I greatly appreciate the round-the-clock coverage our tireless news anchors are providing; especially now there's a possibility I may lose my pack rat belongings to one of five elements: fire.

Now I wondered...what exactly does mandatory evacuation mean? Is it "mandatory" or mandatory mandatory? I mean, there must be some legal jargon that makes it not really mandatory, i.e. they can't force you out of your home. More importantly, I'm more curious about the probability of my place burning down with respect to the level of required evacuation. Does advisory evacuation mean 30% chance? Perhaps mandatory only means 50%? I think when firefighters or law enforcement knocks on your door, then there's a high probability.

I'm learning a bit about myself during all this. According to my previous posting, I added a few items to my flee list. The additional items were a few vanity items , two expensive dresses and two expensive coats. I'll be prepared to attend a fancy evacuation ball barefoot or to keep warm should Mother Nature throw a cold snap this way. I didn't take any additional shoes except for flipflops and the tennis shoes I had on. Oh and I grabbed the frozen pizza I had been craving all day. I guess I'm not as materialistic or shallow as I thought, but I'm not that deep either apparently.

San Diego Fire 2007

In my whole entire life this is the second time I have been affected by a major natural disaster. The first one was the Northridge Earthquake; I was shaken awake by the seismic movement. Right now I am home with every TV in the apartment on the San Diego Fire coverage. Work had a fire day; translation no workie today. My town currently is on voluntary evacuation with one of the fires about 25 miles away. Even with the windows shut tight, a layer of black ash has gathered on the window sill. Outside the air looks smoggy but it smells smokey like a campfire. Is it twisted that I don't mind the smell?

My apartment is nearly by the ocean, so I guess there's not really a point to evacuate except to jump in the ocean or out of fear of entrapment by fire. However, just as a precaution, I have made a mental list of items I plan to take with me (golf clubs, change of clothes, important docs, photos, journals, laptop and necessary chargers. If I have time/room then some vanity stuffs). And, just in case, I also called a friend to secure my refugee status at their residence.

The nervous panicky energy in the air conveyed by the news is unsettling. I can't believe houses are actually burning down to the ground. I am keeping an eye outside. I see some cars pass by with the backseat filled with personal items. The whole idea of possibly losing everything I own is surreal and perhaps a bit melodramatic. I imagine I would be devastated and blame myself for not getting renter's insurance (would that make a difference?) But, honestly I feel nothing right now. Non-San Diegan friends are checking in, good to know who my friends are =). I told my friend Kimmy that I'm not leaving until the fire singes my ass or until I get the reverse 911 call.

Big Brother?

This is how I know the government is keeping tabs on us. A month before my move out of this country, the judicial branch summons me for jury duty. The date is a mere 2 days after my departure. That's all I have to say about that.

2nd Trimester Disclaimer

Official letter has been signed and faxed back. More paperwork need to be completed before everything is said and done, I guess this is where all the needle prodding tests take place. Look out for moody preggy woman in the coming weeks. I am not responsible for the words and actions that takes place in the next 5 weeks. The hormones, I mean stress is most likely going to make me not myself. I will likely be a raging bitch or an emotional sap. If I start crying, I beg someone to slap me. If I start being an a-hole, please bitch slap me as well. Thanks in advance.

hindsight is 20/20

when i was young, this phrase plagued me. as i think back, i must have heard it from every teacher i ever had, all of my relatives, and the occasional old lady on the street. even as a child, i was the one that would wistfully, out loud, comment on their failures.

Me: i wish i would have saved my money instead of buying this (insert cheap toy that broke or new candy that seemed really cool but was, in fact, very lame)
Obnoxious Grown-Up: well, hindsight is 20/20

as i grow older, i notice this phrase coming out of my mouth more often than i hear it. my bgf has been seeking some, slight, advice from me lately, and generally, i reply "you should relax." well, today, she throws back to me, "you were exactly this way a month ago" or something like that. and, without thinking, i hear it.

hindsight

is

20/20.

at that moment, i realize what i said. i even made an out-loud note about it so i would remember. i am beginning to love that phrase. it is so matter-of-fact. to-the-point. it fits a variety of situations.

it is official: i am that obnoxious grown-up.

that random five year old salesgirl attempting to sell me a pedicure knew it. and i know it, too.

if you catch me uttering any phrase containing the words "pot," "kettle," and "black," please incite some sort of physical harm for the pavlovian effect. i beg of you.

Cold Feet

I'm suddenly getting cold feet about Australia. After reading some expatriate testimonies of their impressions of the locals and surroundings, the land down under did not sound like the happiest place on Earth, as I originally thought. On top of that, one co-worker keeps saying to me, "Don't go (to Australia)," like the ominous raven personified by Edgar Allen Poe. I find myself justifying my reasons to him and then realizing I didn't owe him an explanation so much as myself. I don't know why anyone would say that to someone leaving a job in search of new opportunities, especially to someone he/she didn't know well. It's like telling someone their baby isn't the cutest creature on earth when it's just mediocre, or God forbid downright fugly.

But seriously, am I making a huge mistake? While most people say, "Oh if I weren't tied down, blah blah blah, I'd take it in a heartbeat," but do they really mean it? I mean, have they truly given the whole thing as much serious stressful thought as moi? Do they know the consequences and implications down the road? It's like unprotected sex, seems like a good idea at first but in hindsight a horrible mistake.

Soothing Fall

I stepped outside of the house for the first time today and the sky was sunny. A breeze swept past me and brought the scent of fall to my olfactory. The atmosphere carried hints of scorched parchment. I was suddenly hyper aware of each breath I took into my lungs; the essence I was detecting was familiar and new at the same time. Autumn had taken over abruptly. It seemed as if the blazing red hot coils of the summer furnace had shorted out and caused the sparks to singe the surrounding air and dust. A mild blast of sharp icy cool air pierced the senses while sapping up every drop of moisture in the air. My mood was lifted by the changing of the season. I had been going through a transformation in my life as well. It made me feel better that the world was changing with me rather than before me.

Some Tidbits of Weekend

"One-Armed Stripper"

"Thousands of Beautiful Girls and Three Ugly Ones"

"Rolled some salami"

"I don't get Cox"

"Cox On-Demand, Broke Back Mountain"

My nearly full jar of almonds reduced to a few scant pieces at the bottom. Sitting below it was an almost brand new jar with freshness tamper free seal displaced along with an inch of of nuts. Probably the most considerate thing Bible Boy has done. I guess they covered the chapter on "What would Jesus do?"

Pushed Myself Down the Stairs

A good friend of mine and I made a pact not too long ago. We promised each other that if one of us ever got knocked up, the other would do their loyal duty of pushing the preggy one down a flight of stairs, no matter where they were. We derived this practice from the law of physics: what gets knocked up, must get knocked down. Many people find this method of abortion barbaric, but we just think it's good sense. It's way cheap, I mean why spend money on an unborn? There's certainly no abortion showers being thrown around the country, and I think that is a travesty. Hallmark can benefit from this new market, not to mention, the liquor industry as a whole.

So, the metaphoric pregnancy test stick has shown a positive on the new job. However, I may have fallen down the analogous stairwell, though by no fault of my good friend. I have this doom and gloom feeling that I have done poorly on the online tests they requested me to take. Come Monday morning, I will find myself knocked down instead of up.

Picking up Smoking

I've always been anti-smoking mostly because of the health hazards associated with the smoker and bystanders. However, some of my closest friends are regular smokers, and I try to be supportive; although that's probably not being a good friend. At any rate, I don't gag or give them a hard time about their habit when they light up. In fact, I like being the presence of their cigarette clouds. While I have a mental block about inhaling smoke through a rolled filtered cigarette, I have no problem breathing in second-hand smoke. I have to admit, I do feel soothed by it sometimes. There's just something about the elegant, yet mysterious, curls of smoke floating and evaporating into a haze of gray carrying hints of oaky bark that makes the smoker want to say, "Ahhhhh...."

Lately, I have been uber-stressed out about a new job prospect in Australia. I have received an informal offer and am working out the details. But due to my worry prone nature, I obsess over it like it's my job; which is a pretty accurate depiction of the amount of attention I give it while I'm at work. At any rate, I thought to myself, how do I break the monotony of my constant high-strung state? There must be a quick fix to calm me down. Then, I thought of smoking. I've heard many a smokers praise the euphoria of nicotine. However, I just cannot see myself sucking on a rolled up stick of dried tea leaves while it's ablaze. So I thought maybe I could go try one of those nicotine patches or the gum. I like chewing gum, this would be perfect. Eventually I may work up the courage to smoke an actual ciggy.

Unplanned Parenthood

In going with the theme of pregnancy, this is where reality hits. I was ecstatic about getting an offer, seeing the stick I had pee'd on turn blue. Now, I'm doing the math and thinking this is mad, i.e. I can't afford to raise this kid. The question lies in do I give it up for adoption or keep it and maybe I'll be pleasantly surprised; translation: child genius.

There's a reason it's past 1:30am on a Tuesday night and my mind is still wide awake despite numerous libations I imbibed over the last 6 hours. I had a hard time sleeping last night because of the myriad of thoughts racing through my mind. They centered mostly around Australia and specifically my packing list. I can't help that I am a worrier and detail oriented, which makes the former a million times worse.

My first attempt at serious compensation negotiation failed miserably. Either the Australians are Nazi negotiators or I suck at negotiating. They shot me down in every avenue possible, down to the flight accomodations of coach versus business (my last ditch effort). Maybe my salary package is inflated acccording to their standards, but I'm an American and I think in USD terms, goddammit! The whole thing left me feeling defeated and questioning the life choice I am about to make.

I suppose I can be resourceful. I can pray to the housing gods that they will be kind to me and perhaps I will find a one-bedroom deal or non-psycho-lame CLEAN roommates. I've endured Christmas alone in a foreign land, what's another one under the belt. At least this one will be in English rather than Portugese. The only thing I am questioning is why am I so anxious for a change. Why am I leaving such a wonderful network of friends in San Diego to pursue this pipe dream I never had until a month ago? Am I crazy? All I see is difficulties ahead. Nothing makes sense, yet there is a strong desire to go because of fear of regret.