Bible Watch 2007, Chapter 1

I started the much dreaded Bible Watch 2007 with the opening scene to Baywatch. That was a marketing ploy known as "sex sells" to rope in the unsuspecting readers. The actual events I am about to describe has more gravity than bouncing boobs.

Back in May, I came home from a long drive from the OC to see a bible sitting on the coffee table. I thought, ok, one of the roommies decided to attend church today. He/she must've done something super sinful, I wonder what it was. Over the course of the next few weeks, I came to identify the true bible thumper as the older and more masculine roommate. I saw him carrying it when he came home a few nights. Then slowly, the bible was everywhere. It would be sitting on the dining table. Eventually it would lend itself to be left open on the table with highlighted passages. Other religious relics also started to appear immaculately. Items like prayer mad libs and a bible boot camp manual. Not to mention, the religious paintings calendar he had put up at the beginning of the year--something he had played off as a white elephant gift from his aunt, was all starting to make sense and take foothold in the common living/dining area.

The latest development occurred last night when I came home, slightly buzzed from hopping around in PB, and I saw a greeting card propped up on the dining table. It was a "Congrats on your Baptism" card. I didn't know they sold those. I was too tired to care to read it. Then just as soon as I had dismissed the annoyance of the lack of separation between church and state, I saw a little ceramic cross. Horror shot through my spine. For God's sake, people eat at this table, have a little respect.

In slight retrospect, my sarcastic musing of some sin committed truly makes me wonder now. As I am writing late into the night, paranoia tends to set in with fatigue and delirium. I wonder...did he kill someone? Must remember to check homicide logs in the past 3 months. Also, did you know homicide includes murder and manslaughter? So advanced.